ever since then, never been sure where to go. i knew what to do and i knew who to be but i could never be sure where to go. i knew how to be me, but i didnt know what that meant in this place. i think i still lose track, i lose place of my own place. i can sing all the songs of my heart, but i fail to be in the right chapel. my brain writes a million books in a moment, at the same time, moving in different directions like splitting timelines from the same soul. they all converge in to one and yet people still wonder why i hold the eye contact and take my time to respond. sure in my motives, sure in morals, sure in my own being but never in direction, never in objectivity.

every landing has felt like a crash, never a three point landing, never with grace. ive carried galaxies and yet never been able to show you a world that felt all mine.

but this is the closest ive gotten.